For this week’s post, I wanted to share a personal struggle of mine.
To start, I want to talk about the past. What flashbacks come to you? Are there moments that replay in your head? For many of us, it’s our 20s where we will discover a lot ourselves and who we’re meant to be.
Two main things that will happen in your 20’s into your 30’s will be 1. career/job situation and 2. people (relationships, friends, family, colleagues..)
I went to college wanting to pursue something in entertainment or in fashion. Thinking back to this today, I was intrigued by those two industries thinking it was “glamorous” and would somehow ease my low self-esteem. (by the way, nothing wrong with working in these industries) I decided to not stress on it and let the days pass. After a year of trying to work in fashion and social-media related jobs, it was clear that this industry was not for m. I knew I wanted a career with purpose and what truly interested me was talking and relating to others who have gone through hardships. I didn’t know what this meant yet but I just moved toward what interested me. People are hard wired not only to gratify their personal desires but also to care for others. I started to ask myself, instead of asking what do I want to be? I changed it to “In what ways do I wish the world were different?” “What problems can I help solve?” This put the focus on where I should be – on how I can better serve others. This was when I discovered the field of counseling and therapy.
It’s funny how love and relationships dictate so much of our actions and behaviors. As much as your 20’s are important for pursuing your dreams and career, always make time for the people who show they care about you. There will be seasons in your 20’s when you will experience a lot of growing pains whether it’d be from your relationships or job but never feel like it’s the end of the world. Don’t allow a person to become your identity and define you as a whole. Your group of friends or the person you are in a relationship with should push you to become better everyday. Be honest with yourself when it comes to your relationships.
Some of the students I do counseling for have a lot of uncertainties and questions about what college will be like and what post grad life will be like. I’m not going to lie but it’s going to be tough for a while if you are not sure what you want to do yet. But that’s okay. Even after you figure it out, there will still be seasons where you may feel uncertainties about a lot of things. Continue to stay true to yourself.